Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
