I think I died a long time ago.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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