Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
