i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
