Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
