If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
