...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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