He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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