OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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