dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
