Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
pray to the hookup gods
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
