I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
