On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
