Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he thought i was a dude.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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