Im at strip club and am horny
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
