please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
