I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
