How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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