i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
