So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
