she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I think I just sharted jello shots
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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