I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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