he wants to bone in the snuggie
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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