and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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