She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
