I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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