My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
