you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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