she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
