New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
