My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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