I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
