Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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