Me. At least after what I've been through.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
