dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
