dude i'm inner monologue high
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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