xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
