Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Pants are for mortals
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
