Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize