Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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