The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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