Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
