Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
where are my eyebrows?
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