butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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