My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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