My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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