Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
