Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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