I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
