woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
