Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
