you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
