I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
