): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
