He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
