Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
