I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
