I love black thongs
so explain again why im purple
no
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
