my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
