discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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