That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
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