I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize