Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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