wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
