You're my little dorito
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Porn is love you can see.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
