Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize